WORK/LIFE BALANCE: Five Ways to Keep It All Together

The responsibilities of family and work become the pressures of family and work when not managed properly. We are often overwhelmed by trying to divide ourselves between the two most important areas of our lives. It’s a tough juggling act, and men and women handle it differently. According to a study published in the January 2008 issue of Health Psychology, married men get relief from their stress-filled days by simply coming home. Provided the marriage is a healthy, supportive one, women may de-stress in the same way. However, women feel like they’re punching the clock for shift number two, especially if the spouse is not supportive. They are faced with the additional responsibilities of dinner preparation, tending to young children, helping with homework, doing household chores, caring for elderly parents and in-laws, and carting kids from one activity to the next—and all of this possibly after a minimum eight-hour workday. Men, however, may be able to grab the remote and sit in their favorite recliner awaiting the dinner bell.

Nonetheless, we all feel like we’re standing in quicksand at some point or another. Whether it’s meetings at work, deadlines, new projects, changes and the learning curves that accompany them, having to do more with fewer resources or if it’s plans for home improvements, vacations, kids’ activities, grocery shopping or church meetings, most of us are mentally drained by the end of the day. Moreover, we tend not to sleep well because our minds can’t rest for thinking about what awaits us the next day. We teeter close to burnout more than we want.

The bad news is increased stress, decreased productivity, and a decline in the quality of work produced. The good news is that it can be overcome! How? There are at least five important things to consider in making it all work out.

1. Prioritize your activities at home and on the job so that you’re doing what’s most important first. Make a list at the beginning of every day so that you can actually see what has to get done and what can wait. Make sure what is priority is truly priority. Others can make you feel that their needs are most important. Consider the source and the need. You must determine what you can and must do, and establish a realistic time frame in which you can get those things done. What can wait must wait. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
   
2. If your time is managed well at work, you should have enough time at home to spend with the family. Work responsibilities should never infringe on family time even though it often does. Neither should home distract you from your obligations at work. There must be parameters established so that one does not encroach upon the boundaries of the other. When you follow step one and prioritize, you should have adequate time carved out for family. There will always be more work awaiting you on the job. You never want your job duties to end because then your job ends. Anticipate the ongoing list that never ends. But also anticipate with great excitement, the ongoing love at home that should never end as well because you are taking the time to nurture it.
   
3. Balance should not only include the scales of work and home, but somewhere in the middle should be time you take for yourself. Steal moments for you alone. Even if it’s for just a few minutes to meditate, breathe deeply, escape mentally from your current situation, do a fun activity, eat a tasty treat, read a couple of pages, or listen to music that soothes you—there are a million ways to break free from the hassles of life. You must include yourself in the balance. Otherwise, you will not only feel stressed trying to satisfy both sides, but you’ll also feel resentful that you’re always giving so much of yourself to others.
   
4. Recognize that you can not do it all by yourself, so delegate. Once you prioritize, you can see the things that require your attention, and the things that can be given to someone else to complete. Twice as much will get done with a higher degree of quality than you trying to do it all on your own. Remember: anytime you divide yourself, you are giving less of yourself to a person or a project. Divide your time; not your attention. Most important, remember the people who help you so that you can return the favor.
   
5. And finally, learn to say no. Once you recognize that you can’t do it all by yourself, also recognize that you can’t do it all—period! When your cup runneth over, stop allowing other people to pour more into it. Refuse politely by letting them know that your goblet is filled to the rim. Tell them that you don’t want to compromise the outcome by not being able to give your all. Thank them for thinking of you, but politely refuse their request. Make sure it’s not your family that you’re refusing too often in order to accept more responsibility from work. There has to be a line drawn. Just don’t draw it in the sand. It blurs too easily that way.