In Search of Sensitivity

Recently, the story about Dallas cop, Robert Powell, detaining Houston Texans running back Ryan Moats and his family during a life and death situation left viewers outraged. Powell’s dash cam on his cruiser revealed the officer chastising Moats for running a red light as he raced to the hospital to see his dying mother-in-law. He also ignored pleas from the NFL player and others that the woman was only minutes from death, and generally wasted time while Moats’ mother-in-law took her last precious breaths. No one could dispute the insensitivity of the officer—not even the officer himself—when the video is viewed in its entirety. His chief called his behavior “embarrassing”, and Powell soon issued an apology for his own poor judgment. Although this is an isolated incident, this kind of callous attitude occurs not uncommonly in the workplace too—especially among upper management.

When you check out the nearly 13-minute exchange on video, you’ll probably exclaim, “No, I’d never do that to anyone.” But it happens more than we’re willing to admit. Let’s examine three ways in which we can slip into insensitivity.

1. We are too bent on enforcing policy and procedures and less on serving the people we work with everyday. Officer Powell was adamant about issuing a traffic ticket to Moats even though Moats practically screamed that his mother-in-law was upstairs in the hospital dying. But Powell’s constant refrain was about Moats running a red light. Even at the urging of a fellow officer who could be heard on the tape saying that the nurse needed Moats upstairs right away, Powell’s response was a nonchalant, “OK, I’m almost finished,” as if a dying woman would wait on him.

Oftentimes, our people are pleading with us to see them as individuals with specific needs and desires. They want to know that their superiors care about them as people not merely as employees. They want employers to be more sensitive to their personal needs and responsibilities and to recognize that they are people first. Nowadays, compassion has been replaced with callousness, sensitivity with selfishness, and interest with indifference.

2. We say things that are offensive and toss around our positions of authority to justify saying them. Officer Powell yelled at Moats, threatened him with arrest, and lectured him on his attitude. Not once did Powell consider that his actions might lack humility in a highly emotional situation. Aren’t cops trained to deal with life and death everyday? Aren’t we as leaders on our jobs trained to deal with priorities and problems everyday? When a direct report tries to relay a concern to us, we may become offensive when we look disinterested, answer sarcastically, declare it’s not our problem, and generally blow them off. Moreover, when we hide behind a title to get away with it, we instantly lose credibility. No wonder 25 million people in the workforce say they would fire their supervisor if given the opportunity to do so.

3. We stop listening. A team of people came to Officer Powell in the parking lot of the hospital imploring him to allow Moats to see his dying mother-in-law—hospital security, a Plano police officer, and even a nurse who came outside to explain that the woman had coded for the third time. Still, the officer did not yield. How often are people on our team coming to us over and over again to get us to take action in situations where they feel they have no other recourse, and we ignore them? There may be complaints of too heavy a workload, a difficult co-worker who’s making the entire department miserable, a need for career development and training, or a process that doesn’t work. When we do not respond to the concerns of our folks, they believe we do not care. And when we stop caring about them, they stop caring about their jobs. Productivity diminishes, and our jobs as leaders become more difficult.

We ultimately lose along with our people when we don’t show them that we value them and respect their concerns. After a while, they respond just like Moats. They give up. Eventually, he stopped confronting the cop and said, “If you’re gonna give me a ticket, give me a ticket. I don’t care…” How many of your people look like they’ve given up? Is it because they have lost faith that anything will get done about their numerous requests? Are they just going through the motions most of the time?

Moats’ 45-year-old mother-in-law died from breast cancer before he could see her. He missed precious moments that he will never get back. So did her father who stayed out in the parking lot with Moats while he tangled with the heartless cop. He missed his daughter’s last minutes on earth. Obviously, this event has left a very bad taste in the mouths of the family for Powell and probably the entire Dallas Police Department even though they felt Powell’s behavior was reprehensible too. But once you’ve made a bad impression, bouncing back from a poor reputation is like trying to dig out a canyon with a spoon.

Commit to getting beyond policy and procedures and start building and re-building relationships. When strong connections with your people are created, everything else should build, operate, and repair itself. Have a heart, and more importantly, use common sensitivity.

To learn more about sensitivity training, contact Betty Parker at (803) 622-4511 for upcoming training classes on this topic and more.